Farewell

God, I've been so fucking foolish.
With eyes of a child.
Naive.
And not with brains to think.
Running blindly after something
Yet no idea of what happens next.
No way to accomplish whatever it is
That tugs at my heart.
In itself, what a foolish thing.
And in pairing with imaginations
It's left me constantly yearning.
Restless.
To chase a creature I will never catch
No matter how true my intent.
I cannot save one
When you know not where to start.
Where one heartbreak ends
And another discord begins.
Such a fool.
Such a waste.
All because of some dreams
Left on repeat.
They were not calling to you.
They need nothing from you.
What could you possibly provide
That they do not already possess?
Foolish girl.
There will never be a sudden knock.
No happening upon.
No secret meeting where the moss sphinx sits.
No moments of surprise.
No minute between.

In their world,
You don't even exist.
They are decades ahead
And you are a few behind.
There is no magic
Nor will there ever be
To bring you close to me.
I hope you find the healing you need
I know now I'll never be able to give.
I hope you'll find the kindred friendship
I've held so long thinking it was mine to bear.
Foolish foolish heart.

Give up now.
Lay to rest this endless dream.
Say goodbye
To Grey Wolf.
To Dreamstalker.

Farewell, John.